


The Things She Left In The Dark

by WrittenInShadows



Category: The Lovely Bones (2009), The Resident (TV 2018)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Angst and Tragedy, Blood and Violence, Death, Gen, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Multi, Murder, Serial Killers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:00:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22840654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WrittenInShadows/pseuds/WrittenInShadows
Summary: Nicolette Nevin, a young girl taken too soon by a ruthless and violent predator who prays on young girls, one of whom happened to be detective Randolph Bell's daughter Amelia many years earlier. Everyone struggles to move on, even Bell being haunted by his past that will test his marriage. Kyle is headed on a downward spiral, for the first time Jessie has to step up, Conrad finds comfort in Jude who shares a special connection with Nic after her death that even he can't seem to explain or understand. Meanwhile all Nic can do is watch stuck between the world of the living and the dead but is she there alone...? Will they ever catch the killer? (AU loosely inspired by The Lovely Bones)
Relationships: AJ Austin/Mina Okafor, Conrad Hawkins/Jude Silva, Conrad Hawkins/Nicolette Nevin, Randolph Bell/Kit Voss
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	1. Innocence Stolen

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is complicated but I would appreciate some feedback. Updates for my other fics are on the way. I was severely sleep deprived when I wrote this I apologise in advance.

Bell sat on his porch, warm coffee in hand, he had been living in this town for a little over a year now, Kit insisted that they move somewhere more quiet, she had grown to hate the city over the years since their daughter's passing. He watched as the children flooded the usually quiet street to get to school. He couldn't help but feel an ache in his heart when he heard the laughter, saw kids riding their bikes, playing so carefree it was something his daughter would never have again. That innocence had been stolen from her. He thought he would have comfort when they had found her body but it gave him answers to the questions he really never needed to know the answers to, he got a gruesome image of the last few hours of her life she had been brutally raped and beaten, then left in a ditch at the side of the road for months. He felt his hands shaking at the thought, hot coffee spilling and burning his hand bad enough to make him curse to himself. That's when she pulled him out of his thoughts. "Good morning Mr. B" she said, he looked up to see the young teen, her light blonde hair blowing wildly in the wind, newspaper in one hand and a warm muffin the other. This had become a daily routine for them but even now after all this time he felt like correcting her, telling her "it's doctor actually" but he hadn't been a doctor in a long time,not since after - no he couldn't let his mind go there again. 

"Thanks kid" he said as he took the paper in one had and the muffin in the other. He had a soft spot for her really, something about her just gave him comfort. She was very articulate and kind like Amelia but she was also naive and overly optimistic much like Amelia's best friend Grayson, who although he would never admit it, Bell missed from time to time. 

He handed her a $20 bill. "It only cost 5" she said, she was an honest person she wouldn't steal from him and that's exactly why he didn't mind, he knew about her family's situation. Her mother died due to a medical error and it left her father in debt, everyone knew they were struggling and for awhile whatever money they had Kyle would spend it on alcohol but he was doing much better lately and Bell wanted to help out in any way he could without it coming across as being too pitiful. 

"Keep it. Consider it an early Christmas bonus or something" he smiled, opening the newspaper to have a look through it.

"Are you sure?" It didn't feel right to just take from him, besides before he came to town she would often run errands for people free of charge. He was the one who insisted on paying extra always but this was too generous.

He nodded. "As long as you promise not to tell any of the other kids. I don't want them to think I've gone soft or anything" he said jokingly. He knew the kids around there were afraid of him, he wasn't sure why but he preferred it anyway, it meant he had peace and quiet. "Now go on. I can't have you being late to school because of me" he said more sternly. She skipped off down the driveway where Mina and Jessica were waiting. 

"I can't believe you made it out of Hodad's place alive" Jessica giggled. 

Nic rolled her eyes playfully. "Don't call him that. It was one incident with a lawnmower and it was a freak accident" 

"I heard he took the cat to his basement and put its organs in jars after it happened" Mina said, even though the three knew it wasn't true. The three of them had made it up to scare Jessie and her friends so they would stop messing about by his house and leave him alone since being crazy was taken more seriously than being a detective in this town. Sometimes Bell just longed for something exciting, a murder, a disappearance, just something he could put his heart and soul into, he had no idea how much he would come to regret that. He watched as the three skipped off down the street laughing and talking about whatever it is 13 and 14 year olds would talk about. 

Kit came and sat beside him. "She's a good kid. I just don't want her to go down the wrong path" he said turning his attention to her. 

"I know..and I want to believe that's all this is about but I'm worried that this little routine you have going on is just a new crutch for you. She's a teenager eventually she's going to be bored of being your little assistant and I just domt want you to look for something else to run to. You saw what happened to her father, I don't want that to happen to you'

"You worry too much. It's just a friendly gesture. I know her family is on hard times. I'm just trying to help out in any way I can" he got up. "I should get ready for another riveting day of work" he said sarcastically as he stood up.

"It's never too late to go back to medicine" 

"No" he said a little too quickly.

She sighed softly, deciding to let it go, she knew this job meant everything to him and she felt like he resented her a hit for having them move from the city. She put the tea she had been holding aside and stood up too, giving him a quick kiss. "Be careful out there today. I love you"

He rolled his eyes playfully. "Careful of what? Bike thieves? Nothing interesting ever happens in this town you don't have to worry. I love you" he smiled a little before going to get himself together for work. He had no idea how drastically this day would change everyone's lives forever...

It was just like any other school day for Nic, she walked from class to class with Conrad by her side, they were best friends but everyone could see there was clearly more to it than that and neither of them were brave enough to admit it, at least not until the end of that very school day when Conrad had approached her at her locker. "Hey.." 

"Hi" she looked at him shyly playing with the charm bracelet her mom had given her for her birthday before she had gotten sick, she often fiddled with it out of nervous habit. 

"Would you..uh..do you wanna maybe..we could meet at the mall on Saturday. Just-just the two of us?" he managed to finally work up the nerve to ask her, he was a little older than her and had 2 or 3 girlfriends before her but it was so different, he had always been so confident but she made him nervous in a way he had never felt before and that both terrified and excited him. 

"Like.. a date..?" she had gone a shade of red that she wasn't sure was humanly possible which just added to her nerves. He nodded, shifting awkwardly where he stood. "I'd love to" she didn't even hesitate, trying to sound more confident now. 

His eyes lit up and a weight seemed to lift off his shoulders he was relieved she said yes. He kissed her cheek gently before walking off down the hall. She leaned back against her locker, sighing happily to herself. Today couldn't get any better she was sure of it but that was just wishful thinking. 

It was later in the afternoon by the time she was finally finished with her after school activities, she was running behind because she had forgotten one of her books at her locker after she had left which meant she had to walk all the way back. She didn't mind though, she could just take the short cut, that's what she did most days anyway. It was a trek through an old field but it was usually quiet and it helped her clear her head so as long as it wasn't raining she liked to walk that way to clear her head. She had no idea that the man who would be her murderer knew the already, in fact he had been watching her for months.

Her luck seemed to run out when her backpack broke, sending all her homework flying everywhere and the $20 Bell gave her was the first thing to drift off into the wind. She quickly ran to try and catch everything,almost running into someone. She recognised the man almost instantly, George Harvey, he lived in her neighbourbood just across the street. "Awe damn I'm sorry" he said afte this failed attempt to catch the flying papers. 

"It's okay" she sighed, gathering what she could and dumping it back into her now broken backpack. 

"You don't seem to be having much luck today" he said sympathetically. "Well you won't be able to carry that home with you..I can fix it for you if you want? I was actually out here working on a project I'm building for all the kids in the neighbourhood"

"I'm sorry but I really have to go" she said as she started walking again, hugging the backpack to her chest to keep her belongings from falling out. 

"Oh come on. I've really been wanting to show someone, besides it'll take you longer to walk home like that" 

She knew he had a point but she didn't want to get in trouble for being late for dinner. "I can't be late for dinner" 

"I promise you won't be late it'll only take a minute, besides you'll get to be the very first kid to see it, how cool is that?" 

Of course she was a little tempted and besides he was her neighbour, he wouldn't hurt her right? Things like that didn't happen in towns like these. So with that line of thinking she followed him across the field. He stopped at a wooden hatch door in the ground, he opened it up to reveal a ladder. "Ladies first" he said as he held it open for her, she walked down the ladder, looking around the small room which only had candles as a source of light. 

"I thought this could be a place you could all hang out. No adults allowed of course" he said as he put her bag aside. 

"It's really great" she said as she looked around. 

He smiled seeming proud of his handy work. "Why don't you take a seat?" he said and so she sat down on one of the blankets he had placed on the floor. He came and sat beside her, suddenly the unease set in. "It's nice in here right? You like it? It's..special" 

"Yes..it's-it's very special....Mr Harvey? I really have to go now" her voice was shaking a little. 

"Nonsense you just got here" he could see the fear in her eyes. "I'm not going to hurt you Nicolette" he said moving a bit closer to her. 

She shifted uncomfortably. "It's just Nic" no one really called her by her actual name aside from her mother which made this whole thing all the more uncountable. 

"Hmm I don't see why you wouldn't want people to call you by your given name. It's so.. delicate.. like you" 

That was her cue to get the hell out of there. She got up and ran towards the ladder climbing up it as fast as her arms and legs would allow her. He came up right behind her grabbing her by the legs and pulling her back down roughly, he wasn't taking no for an answer and either way things weren't looking good for her. This was the start of her worst and last few hours of life. 

"This isn't like her" Kyle said as he mostly just pushed the food around on his plate with his fork. 

"I'm sure she'll be fine, she's probably just out to meet a boy or something" Jodie, his latest new girlfriend said, seemingly annoyed that he wasn't eating or giving her all his attention like he usually did.

"No she promised she'd help me with my homework" Jessie explained, suddenly also losing her appetite. "I have a bad feeling" 

"Try not to worry.. I'm sure Jodie is right" Kyle seemed to be trying to convince himself more than her. They decided to wait it out but as the hours flew past in what seemed like a blink of an eye everyone was worried, including Jodie. Kyle sent Jessie to her room for the night while they called the police.

"What's taking them so long?" he asked as he paced in the living room, clutching the most recent picture he had of Nic since he knew they would probably want to see it. "Forget it this is taking too long" he said as he grabbed his coat and keys from the counter still clutching to the photo. 

"Where are you going?" 

"To find my daughter" he said before walking out and shutting the door behind him before she had a chance to argue with him about it. They had already lost so much he couldn't bare the thought of losing Nic too. 

Jude was wondering the field, drinking a bottle of beer he had stolen from a local store, his parents were at it again and his dad kicked him out for simply trying to defend his mom, he just wanted to forget and seeing as he had only ever taken a sip of beer a bottle would be plenty for that. 

Nic wasn't sure if she was relieved to see another person or not, she was terrified, she felt this strange feeling throughout her body that she had never felt before she brushed past Jude and kept running.

Jude felt something hit him with a jolt, at first be thought it was the alcohol but he quickly concluded there was no way that could work so quickly, he saw the figure of a girl running away, she had turned back briefly to make eye contact with him and she looked absolutely terrified, he couldn't hear it but he felt her scream, it sent shockwaves through his body and shivers down his spine, it felt inhuman. He stumbled back a bit watching as the figure of the girl disappeared, fading away into the blackness of the night. Nic's spirit might have escaped the room but her body hadn't, George Harvey had taken not only her life but her childhood innocence, he stole it from her like a thief in the night and the worst part was she didn't even realise it yet. Jude wasn't sure what he had seen but he never would have even guessed it was the spirit of a murder victim, that this mysterious girl who vanished into the night was just a young girl, naive to the dangers of trusting too easily, that this girl was Nic and she was missing, people were looking for her, people would mourn her... Whatever it was he just knew it would stay with him forever.. he knew that before she had ever even fully vanished...


	2. She Wouldn't Run Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nic comes to the realisation that she never really escaped from Mr. Harvey alive. Cain doesn't take the missing persons report as seriously as he should which hinders the investigation, Bell must deal with the demons of his past and Conrad encounters Jude while he's trying to make sense of this terrifying time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy please give your feedback. The fractured AU should have a new chapter up next week. If you want updates on anything else feel free to let me know. I know this update is soon but I'm kind of addicted to writing this.

Nic ran as fast as she could, it felt like everything around her was in slow motion and she couldn't pick up speed no matter how fast she ran. Her heart was pounding so fast she could feel it in her ears and her blood ran cold through her veins, that's when she saw him. Kyle was walking along the busy street holding a picture of her and showing it to everyone who walked past asking if they had seen her. She felt a flutter of excitement? Relief? She was safe. "Dad!"she yelled to him from across the street but he didn't turn around, no one did. She called for him louder, running towards him and for a brief moment he looked over as if he was looking right at her but he was looking right through her. Suddenly he wasn't in her view anymore, the street was empty, was the fear making her hallucinate? Was this all in her head? 

Jodie heard the firm knock on the door and knew it was the police, she opened the door with the time that past she had grown just as concerned as Kyle did. Her and Nic weren't exactly close and she certainly didn't feel like a daughter to Jodie, more like a younger sibling, she cared about her.

"I'm detective Cain. I'm here about a missing persons report?" 

"Of course, come in" she stood aside and let him in. They sat down and she made him a coffee so he could take her statement but he already seemed impatient, like he had no interest in being there. He asked the basics, how old she was, what was she wearing, when did they realise she was missing. 

Nic ran through the front door but the house was empty. "Dad?! Jess?! Is anyone home?!" she got no response. She was about to run up the stairs but stopped when she could hear muffled speaking. 

"It was cold out..she would have been wearing her coat.. like this one and..hmm..let me think..um..her grandmother knitted her a hat for Christmas. Her dad always makes her wear it when it's cold out even though she argues with him about it" 

She could hear Jodie and she quickly pieced together what was going on but she couldn't see her, did she hit her head? No.. why couldn't they see her? Why couldn't she see them. She heard a noise coming from upstairs and she quickly followed it to her own bedroom door, she was more confused now than ever, she just wanted to figure out what was happening to her. She slowly opened the door, her hands shaking, she suddenly had that horrible sense of dread again. 

At first the bright light seemed to blind her, as she walked in further, things slowly started coming into focus. She could see blood..lots of blood, this wasn't even her room, the white tiled floors didn't even look familiar to her. She kept walking, stopping as she saw a man in a bathtub, his face covered by a wash cloth, it looked as if he was bathing in blood, how was there so much blood? It was all over the floor, in the sink. Everywhere. Where had it all come from? Who was this strange man?

As he scrubbed his face and pulled the cloth away she instantly recognised him.. Mr. Harvey.. Her eyes wondered around the room, a bloody knife a pile of bloody clothes.. she could feel the horrible flutter in her chest again..then she saw it...her charm bracelet covered in blood thrown down on the blood stained sink. This blood was her blood _no..no ir can't be_ she thought to herself but as she watched him scrubbing the blood from his body bits and pieces of what he did came flooding back. She screamed, feeling an emotion so powerful it caused the ground beneath her to shift, the knife fell to the floor, the sound of the cold metal hitting the floor pierced through her ears. This was it. She was dead. He had killed her. 

"Well surely you can understand why I'm having a difficult time believing this is anything worth investigating. Given your boyfriend's history of neglect and general disregard for his daughters in the past. An alcoholic father with a revolving door of girlfriends would surely want to make anyone want to run away" Cain said, tapping his pen against his notebook before shutting it. "I'm going to be honest with you right now. This case isn't going to be a priority for me" he stood up, Jodie would have slapped him if he wasn't a cop. "Call me if there's actually anything to report. I'll file this case as a suspected runaway and send it to social services"

"Nic is a good girl she wouldn't run away. Please. I know something is wrong"

"I'm sorry. I can't help you" and with that he just left, seemingly without any real concern or care.

Another day had passed before Kyle had marched down to the police station and demanded to speak with a detective. Cain rolled his eyes when the rookie called from the front desk. "I'll deal with him" he said before putting down the phone and getting up from his desk.

"Deal with what?" Bell asked, looking up from his paperwork. 

"Kyle Nevin is here. He claims one of his kids is missing but it's a classic runaway" 

Bell felt his stomach drop, Nic hadn't been around that morning, he assumed it was because it was a Saturday and she had probably slept in but now his mind was jumping to worrying conclusions. "Which one?" 

"The older one..uh.." Cain quickly flipped through his notepad for the name, since he didn't even care enough to remember it. "Nicolette" 

Bell went pale and quickly stood up. "I'll deal with Kyle. I know the family" 

"This whole police station knows the family" Cain replied rolling his eyes before sitting down again. "But go ahead. I'd be more than happy for you to take this off my hands" 

Kyle was pacing. "I'm trying to report my daughter missing. Just help me for god's sake!" he yelled as he stopped and slammed his hands down on the front desk, scaring the young cop. 

"I'll help you" Bell spoke up. "Come with me and we'll make this report official" 

"Finally" he said as he followed him, they went to a nearby interrogation room so they could discuss the details. They were both on edge, Kyle for obvious reasons and Bell because he feared if they didn't find Nic soon she could have the same fate Amelia did. He had no idea it was already too late and because Cain hadn't taken the report seriously they missed out on crucial time, time that gave her killer a chance to destroy some evidence. 

Conrad sat waiting in the mall where he and Nic had agreed to meet, checking his watch, she should have been there by now. He looked up from his watch when he heard someone sit across from him. "Hey you made it- oh.." he looked up to see Jude. The two hadn't talked all that much lately, they had been childhood best friends but they just grew apart as they had gotten older it was nothing personal, they just had different hobbies. 

"Hey.."

"What are you doing here?" 

"I..I don't know.. I guess I came here to get something I just don't really remember what and then I saw you sitting here alone so..here I am" 

"Well I'm waiting for someone" he said a bit more harshly than intended. "Sorry.." 

"It's fine. I get it" he got up. "It was good to see you again" he said before walking off, trying to piece together what had willed him to go there in the first place.

Meanwhile Bell was working hard on trying to find any leads, it seemed like there was nothing to go on and as that day passed by in what felt like the blink of an eye he still had nothing. He took the case file home with him and just stared at it. Kit came downstairs to check on him. "It's late you should come to bed"

"I can't.. I have.to keep working at this" 

She sighed. "She's not Amelia you know" she said before heading up the stairs and back to their room. 

He felt the tears well up in his eyes as he thought of Amelia, he slammed the case file shut and closed his eyes trying to clear his head but instead he drifted off to sleep where terrible nightmares lay in wait for him. 

_10 missed calls from Amelia appeared on his phone, he sighed, he had forgotten he was meant to leave work early to pick her up from school since Kit had the night shift and was catching up on some well needed rest. He checked his voicemails._

_"Hey dad I'm guessing by now you forgot me. Someone better have been dying because if I find out you forgot to pick me up for some boring hospital budgeting meeting you'll be the one needing surgery" she tried to sound serious and mad but she couldn't hold in her laughter. "I'm gonna walk a few blocks over and get the bus home and don't worry I won't tell mom but I have conditions. You gotta do my biology homework for at least a week - anyway I gotta go. Love you"_

_He smiled to himself, she definitely inherited Kit's fiery spirit. He had no idea that it would be the last time he ever heard her voice, that he would listen to it on loop just desperately trying to hold onto her. It all went by so quickly one minute he was hearing her voice and the next he was in the morgue needing to identify her body._

_Kit was too much of a wreck to do it and he knew he had to keep himself together. As the ME pulled back the sheet he felt his stomach twist into a tight knot. Her pale face was beaten and bloodied, there were clear strangulation marks on her neck, she was slightly decomposed but the snow and ice kept her body mostly well preserved. He knew without a doubt it was her. "I-it's-it's h-er" he said barely managing to get the words out, the knot in his stomach tightening, he felt like he couldn't even breathe._

He sat up in a cold sweat, gasping for air, he looked down to the file he had knocked in his sleep, Nic's picture, seemingly haunting him it was almost as if he could hear her pleading with him soft flutters of sound that almost mimicked a whisper _Help me, help me please_. He couldn't let her family face what he did. No one should have to see their child like that, they had to find her, besides no news was good news...right..? 

Word soon spread about her disappearance and police began a proper search, finally the case was getting the attention it deserved no thanks to Cain. They began the search and interrogating everyone Nic was close to, Conrad could feel the guilt rising in him he had been so angry at Nic for just ditching him with no explanation, he never thought about the possibility that she had been hurt or worse. He felt sick just thinking aboutt it and he couldn't stop thinking about it because it was all anyone was talking about. After school he went back to the mall where they were meant to meet and just sat there and thought for awhile before Jude approached him again. "Did you forget why you came here again or are you stalking me now?" he asked when he saw him. 

Jude rolled his eyes playfully. "No" he said before turning serious. "You miss her don't you?" 

Conrad was going to ask what he was talking about but he already know. He just nodded, doing everything he could to hold back the tears that he knew he needed to let fall eventually. "Y-yeah of course... but she's gone now" 

"I don't think she's gone. Not really" Jude said and for the first time Nic felt as if she was seen, she had some sort of connection to the real world even if Jude didn't actually see her standing there, he felt her presence whether he knew it or not yet. Watching the two together felt so bittersweet, she felt so far away no matter how close she was and it broke her heart. Why did all of this have to hurt so much? It wasn't fair she was confused and scared, more so than anyone else.

All the while the police continued their search and came upon a shocking discovery. Something that was going to change everything...


	3. A Significant Amount Of Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As detectives believe they have found the crime scene they make a gruesome discovery that leaves them with more questions than answers. Bell deals with reliving the past and facing his guilt. Meanwhile Jude comforts Conrad as he struggles to accept devastating news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know these updates are very frequent but I'm obsessed with this story. Thank you to everyone in the GC for being so supportive and not leaving me alone in my obsession  
> Also thanks to my regular readers. Ily  
> (I low key don't like this chapter as much as the others so I hope it's okay. Let me know your thoughts)

Almost every police officer in the area wanted this case, it was gaining traction quickly and it didn't take long for the mainstream media to start reporting it. Bell hated to admit it but he was almost jealous, when Amelia had died it was just another tragic murder in a big city but Nic disappeared in a small town with the lowest crime rates in the state, a town once awarded the title of the safest small town in the country. Reporters were eager to report on a community coming together to support a well liked family and find a young girl who was portrayed as the heart of the town but Bell knew the truth and it made him angry. The Nevin name wasn't exactly associated with the perfect lovable small town family stereotype and the way people treated Nic was a causality of Kyle's past behaviour when he was at his worst. They were constantly looking down on her as if she was nothing, even the entire police department wasn't interested in the case until it began gaining media attention. Bell was the only person who gave Nic the time of day, the benefit of the doubt that she wasn't defined by the actions of her father and he was right he knew that even if no one else aside from the fake media stories saw it. 

He shut off the radio as yet another reporter began talking about the "heart wrenching" story and asking people to send in messages for Nic so that if she was out there she could hear them. He rolled his eyes at the absurdity of it all, some of these people leaving heartfelt messages didn't even know her. 

He pulled up by the field and started walking, Cain was already there with a group of officers and a search and rescue team. Of course he waited to tell Bell until after he already got there because he wanted to take the credit for this case even though he was the one who dismissed it in the first place. He started walking and searching but the sent tracker k9 unit was doing most of the work. Bell went to help one of the handlers, the dog came to a stop at a pile of leaves and started barking loudly. Bell felt his heart racing, terrified that beneath the leaves they would find her body. The tight knot growing in his stomach again, images of Amelia bloodied and bruised on the cold metal table in the morgue flashed through his mind. He could feel his hands shaking as one of the officers began clearing away the leaves. There was what appeared to be a wooden hatch door, there seemed to be some blood stains but nothing significant. Then he noticed something, some sort of material perhaps? He carefully pulled it up, it was a knitted hat like the one Jodie had described, only it was covered in dirt and blood. He put it into an evidence bag trying to hide the panic he felt as Cain opened the door carefully. He shone his flashlight down there, revealing piles of broken wood but most concerning was all the blood, there were large puddles of it and some strands of light blonde hair tangled in chunks of broken wood. "This looks like remaining rubble from some sort of structure" Cain remarked as he stood back to let the CSI unit gather the evidence. 

Bell didn't utter a word, he was just staring, that was a lot of blood, too much blood loss for anyone to survive, let alone a teenage girl. Cain must have been talking to him the whole time but he didn't hear him the ringing in his ears was too loud. "I'm sorry I need a minute" he murmured. 

"We don't have time for that. Pull yourself together. I'll handle the paperwork, then you can go to the family and I'll give the press report" he suggested. Of course Cain wanted to be the one to talk to the press but Bell was in no mood to argue so he just nodded.

He started driving, tears welling up in his eyes, he knew he shouldn't have let this get to him, this was his job he knew what to expect and yet still he couldn't handle it. Images of Amelia flashed through his mind, thinking of how this news had broken Kit, how this news was going to break Nic's already complex and grief ridden family. It seemed he got distracted for a moment before turning his attention back to the road, he was driving faster than he realised. He saw a figure up ahead, he tried to slow down but he didn't manage to on time. He quickly ran out of his car, almost 100% sure he hit someone but there was no one there. "Pull yourself together. This case can't get personal to you" he said aloud before getting back into his car and driving off once again, much more carefully this time. 

He arrived at the Nevin household and sat down with Kyle and Jodie. "We found some evidence in the field behind the school" he said, placing the hat in the evidence bag on the table. Jodie gasped a little and Kyle simply shook his head in disbelief, that didn't mean anything. She could have lost it on her way home, it could have nothing to do with the case, maybe she did run away? Or at least that's what he wanted to believe. "There was a cavity in the earth filled with a lot of debris, mostly lose woods and broken crates. We think it's the remains of some kind of structure" he explained. 

"And what about Nic?" Jodie asked because Kyle couldn't even seem to find the words and she knew that's what he had been thinking. 

"We didn't find her" the words even gave him chills to say but they seemed to give Kyle a sense of false hope. 

"That's good isn't it? I mean you found Nic's hat but you didn't find her which means we really don't know if she was even there at all right?" his voice was strained, it seemed he was desperate for Bell to just agree with him, give him some sort of confirmation his little girl could still be alive. "I mean it's possible she was never even there right? She could have lost it.. it doesn't mean anything..right?"

"We also found blood... A significant amount of blood" he didn't tell them that blood wasn't the only bodily fluid that CSU had found, they didn't need to know that this wasn't just a murder, not yet. He wanted them to hold onto the comfort of believing she still had her childhood innocence when she died, he couldn't rip that away from them too. They both broke down and just held each other. Of course Kyle was in the worst state and Jodie did her best to try and be there for him, he seemed to be in shock. "I'm very sorry" Bell spoke after a little while. 

When he got home it's when everything hit him, he took off his jacket and his tie, he felt like he was burning up and it was hard to breathe. "Randolph?" he heard Kit's voice but it sounded more like an echo in his head, he hadn't expected her to be home so early but it had been a quiet day at the hosptial and she had wanted to surprise him with dinner, of course that all went to the back of her mind when she saw him. 

"I-I couldn't save her. I-I couldn't" 

"I heard the news... I'm so sorry" she didn't know much about the case, they weren't releasing everything to the public but she knew they were presuming Nic dead now which meant they must have found something significant. 

"If-if I had just been on time she would be okay... I wasn't on time I should have been on time... I was too late.. it's too late" he was hyperventilating now, she hadn't seen him this bad before, she knew he had several panic attacks after Amelia's death but he always did his best to hide them from her and she was too depressed to notice the signs at the time. 

She quickly pieced together that this wasn't about Nic at all, this was about Amelia. This case was bringing it all back to him. She guided him to the couch and sat down with him. He laid down resting his head on her lap while she gently ran her fingers through his hair which always seemed to calm him. "It's okay. It's not your fault. None of this is your fault. Amelia wouldn't want you to blame yourself you know that. It was a tragic accident, it could have happened at any time. It had nothing to do with you. The man who killed her is the one to blame not you" she tried to assure him. He had supported her through her dark time and put so much attention on her problems he couldn't face his own trauma, it was her turn to step up now, she had to help him overcome this. 

Meanwhile Nic was watching it all unfold, like a domino effect from person to person completely falling apart as they got the news but no one took it harder than Conrad, it was truly heartbreaking to watch, she felt so lonely until she heard a voice from behind her. 

"It hurts doesn't it?"she turned around to see a girl around her age, seemingly a bit older standing there. Her bright blue eyes and reddish brown hair looked eerily familiar. 

"Who are you?" she asked, unsure if she should be relieved by the presence of someone else or terrified. 

"Relax I don't bite. I'm Lia" Amelia had always shortened her name and what she preferred seemed to change as she got older she went from Ams to Amy to Mel but she had died going by Lia. 

"I'm-"

"I know who you are. How could I not? America's most famous missing girl in the media right now. Congrats" she seemed sarcastic and cold yet there was a sadness in her voice and a warmth in her eyes she could never hide. 

"You think I want that? This isn't what death is supposed to be like. I was supposed to have a life, die peacefully of old age in some hosptial surrounded by family. I was supposed to see my mom again. It's not fair" 

"I know..it's not fair. None of this is fair and I know I can't promise you the lifetime you deserved but things can get better for you. You can find piece if you just let go"

"If it's so easy why haven't you done it?"

"I never said it was easy and I'm here by choice. After I died my dad dedicated his life to helping others like me, now I do the same. I help the lost souls find their way" she explained briefly but not enough, not the fact that they were killed by the same man and that she was helping all of his victims find their way, not the fact that her father was Randolph Bell. 

"Well that's great and all but I'm not ready to go..I can't just let this go" 

"You'll never be free if you can't let go of your anger. I know it feels easier to stay, the thought of facing what happened to you and letting go of your friends and family, never seeing them again until they die too, it's all so scary and I was just like you once but don't be stupid. Why be stuck here all alone when you could see your mom again? You could be happy" 

"I don't think I'll ever be happy again. Dead people don't get happy endings" This was going to be difficult Amelia knew that but she had no idea just how strong Nic's connection to the living world was, at least not yet but she was about to figure it out.

Conrad was alone when he got the news that the case was now a murder investigation, Marshall was away on business so there was nothing new there. He was all alone and he couldn't handle it. He had no one to turn to, Nic was his person and now she was gone, he felt a strange need to see Jude again, he felt like he could understand like he had a weird connection to him. So he walked to his house to talk to him he was already breaking and by the time he got to the door he could hardly breathe, he couldn't let anyone see him like this, so weak, so vulnerable. He turned to walk away. "Conrad?" Jude spoke, stepping out onto his porch, shutting the front door so his parents wouldn't bother them. 

He turned to face him. "Nic's dead" he said sounding eerily calm but the anxiety within him was building. 

"I know" 

"She's dead... she's dead. Jude she's-she's dead and-and she's been dead this entire time and I.. oh god.." he was rambling he was clearly a mess. 

"It's okay..just talk to me. Let me help you. I can help you" 

"How?! How are you gonna help me?! She's... I-I don't wanna feel it. I don't think I can I just I don't think I can I don't even wanna - I can't, I can't, I can't do this I can't, I can't"

"Conrad if you don't-"

"No..no I can't just...I can't I can't even-"

"You have to. You have to do this you have to grieve. If you don't this will tear you apart" 

"No no no" he was pacing and hyperventilating, it looked like his legs could go from beneath him at any second. 

Nic and Amelia were watching. "Jude. Help him. You have to help him" Nic said, for a moment forgetting he would never hear her but in that moment he looked right at her, he didn't see her but it was almost as if he sensed her and although he didn't hear her words he felt them, like a 6th sense, an instinct taking over. 

He walked closer to Conrad. "Come here" he said softly but Conrad just shook his head stepping back. Jude gently grabbed his hand and pulled him close. Conrad pulled away from him for a moment hitting him lightly until he just finally let himself just collapse into Jude's arms, his legs going from beneath him as he held him tightly and just sobbed. "It's okay. I can help just let me help you" he said as he held him close just letting him cry. 

Amelia looked at Nic. "How did you do that?" 

"Do what?" she asked confused. 

"Reach him" 

"I.. I don't know?" 

"You passed through him didn't you? After you died?" 

"What are you talking about?" All this death stuff was confusing to her she thought it was just supposed to be simple. 

Amelia rolled her eyes "Do you need me to spell if out for you? Did you touch him right after you died? Did you run into him? See him? Anything?" 

"I might have ran into him.. maybe our hands touched I don't know does that really even matter?" 

She sighed. "Of course it matters. Now he will carry a piece of you with him for the rest of his life" 

"Well how was I supposed to know that?" 

Amelia didn't seem to be paying attention though she was just watching as Jude and Conrad held each other they appeared to have a connection even though it hadn't been there before Nic died. She had seen people have slight connections to people but nothing like this, Nic seemed to have a powerful spirit more powerful than anyone she had ever reached before and as much as that worried her for potential complications maybe she could use it to her advantage, maybe she could finally reach her dad and let him know she was okay now, that she had found her version peace..


	4. What Am I Now? I'm Nothing...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With no further leads in the case Kyle's sadness turns to anger and Nic's need for revenge puts lives in danger.

Weeks had slowly turned to months with no answers, no new evidence, Bell was withdrawing more and more from Kit putting all his time and effort into the case. He had dreams of Nic and Amelia and he felt like he was losing his mind, it couldn't be real, could it? He wanted to tell Kit but he was worried about how she might react, if it would hurt her. He was smart to keep it from her because Jude took the opposite approach and Conrad didn't take it well...

They were sat under the tree near Jude's house, looking up at the stars. He looked at Conrad trying to work up the courage to tell him what he was thinking. "What are you thinking about?" Conrad asked, looking over at him. 

"Nic" he said without having a chance to think about it. Conrad tensed at the mere mention of her name. He moved away from Jude and stared up at the night sky. "I know she's not exactly your favourite topic but just humour me for a second okay?" 

He seemed hesitant but he nodded. "Okay" 

"Do you think she's still out there?" 

"Don't- don't do that. You know she's not. She's dead. She's gone" 

"But what if she's not really gone?" 

"Jude that's not funny" he was clearly hurt by that. It seemed as if Jude was treating this as if it were some sort of joke. 

"I'm not trying to be funny. What if she was out there? Trapped between two worlds. What if she was trying to send us a message somehow" 

"Well she's not so why does it matter?" 

"I saw her the night she was murdered"

"Why are you just telling me this now? What happened? Where was she going? Did you tell the police?" for a second Conrad had a glimmer of hope Maybe there was a way of solving this case. 

"No I didn't tell the police because.. I..I think she was already dead when I saw her" 

Conrad stood up, his hope for answers shattered almost as quickly as it had surfaced. "I can't do this with you. I thought you cared but clearly this is all one big joke to you" 

Jude got up quickly and grabbed his hand gently. "No I didn't mean it like that. I know it sounds crazy but-"

"Don't. I don't wanna hear it" he pulled away from him and started walking home. Jude wanted to follow him, to stop this but he couldn't he knew no matter what he said Conrad would never believe him and that was a terribly lonely feeling. 

It took weeks before Conrad would even speak to him let alone be close to him after that. So Jude decided that a living relationship was more important than some weird connection with a dead girl he hardly knew. He decided to pretend none of it was real, anytime he saw her in a dream, felt her presence in the air, heard a faint whisper in the breeze that could have been her calling to him he ignored it perhaps it was all in his head. Maybe she was never really there at all, at least that's what he told himself. 

That only fueled the hatred and anger she felt inside, Jude was the only person she could really reach and he was ignoring her. She wanted revenge on Harvey, she wanted him to suffer, after all this was all his fault. She didn't realise her hatred would infect others, run hot through their veins like a poison.

Amelia tried to warn her of the dangers. "You don't control this Nic. You can be free of him but not this way" 

"You don't know anything. That man took my life!" 

"Then don't let him take your soul too. He doesn't control you. Let it go"

"Let it go?! I want him dead. I want him cold and dead with no blood in his veins" tears streamed down her face. "Look at me. Look at what he did to me. What am I now? The dead girl? The lost girl? The missing girl? I'm nothing!" she paced back and forth feeling the anger and sadness rise within her. "I was stupid..I was so stupid" 

"You'll see.. in the end everybody dies" she said before leaving Nic standing there all alone. She had no idea of the downward spiral she was causing for those closest to her.

It started with Kyle but his hatred was misdirected, he turned his attention on Bell. He broke into his house and waited for him to get home,Kit had the misfortune of getting home first, Kyle grabbed hold of her putting a knife to her throat. "Call your husband. Tell him to come home" his voice was dangerously calm but he had a wild look in his eyes. 

Kit shakily took out her phone and dialed Bell's number. "Honey can you come home please.. I-I need you" 

Bell instantly knew something was wrong, her voice was shaking and she never called him honey unless she was being sarcastic. She was clearly trying to give him the hint that something was wrong. "I'm on my way" he got up from his desk and grabbed his keys not even bothering to grab his jacket.

When he got to the house the front door was open slightly, every instinct inside him was screaming at him to run inside but the detective in him knew better. He carefully drew his gun and slowly pushed open the door before walking inside the house. When he got inside his worst fears were confirmed, Kyle was holding onto Kit, a knife pressed to her throat. "Put down the knife and we can talk about this" he spoke calmly but his whole body was shaking, he couldn't lose her too. He could see the fear in her eyes, this wasn't supposed to be how it ended for them, they were supposed to grow old together but then again life was often cruel, they should have seen Amelia grow up too but that didn't happen either. 

"Maybe I should just slash her throat right here. Hide her body somewhere where you'll never find her so all you're left with is a "significant amount of blood" maybe then you'll understand" 

"You lost your little girl. That I can understand" 

"How?! How could you possibly understand?! You didn't lose anything!" As soon as he said those words Kit let the floods of tears stream down her face. 

"We did" she said barely above a whisper. "We lost our little girl too" 

Bell took a deep breath before slowly putting his gun down. "Let's just talk this out" 

"No! Not until I get answers. You just gave up!"

"I never gave up on her. I know what it's like to want closure. When my daughter went missing I didn't sleep for weeks I would have given anything to find her alive but instead I ended up having to identify her body. I got to put my daughter to rest and I know you want that too that's why I haven't forgotten. It still keeps me up at night" he took out his wallet showing a picture of Amelia, he handed it to him slowly and carefully. 

Kyle tossed it aside. "How do I know it wasn't you then hmm? Is it such a coincidence that your daughter goes missing and then you come here to a town where nothing like this has happened in decades and suddenly Nic goes missing. Don't think I didn't hear the rumours. Why were you so interested in her hmm? Did you touch her you sick son of a bitch?! Is that why you killed her?! To keep her from telling anyone? I know how guys like you work. The last person anyone would suspect but I see through you" his hand was shaking, the knife cutting into Kit slighlty, she shut her eyes tightly. 

Bell felt sick at the accusation especially considering Nic reminded him of Amelia, it just made the sickness of it all so much worse. Seeing the slight few drops of blood made him forget the dangers, he punched Kyle hard, forcing him to let go of Kit. It wasn't long before the two were fighting, Kyle had managed to punch Bell in the face a few times but Bell's adrenaline surge made him much stronger and once he started hitting him he just couldn't stop. Kit had to pull him away. "Stop it! Stop it you're going to kill him!" she yelled as she pulled him away, it took her several tries to stop him. 

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry" he mumbled as he gently pulled her close, she held onto him tightly, her entire body shaking. 

Nic had tried to somehow reach any of them before it had gotten to this point but nothing had happened, it seemed hate was the only emotion strong enough to breakthrough which of course only made her more angry and hateful. She needed Jude, he couldn't ignore her forever. 

Things for Jude and Conrad were going really well, they were in their own little world. They didn't know what happened between Kyle and Bell, no one did, Kit and Bell decided getting Kyle in trouble wasn't worth it and Kyle just told cops he was jumped by some people he owed money to, no one looked into it so nothing about the case was brought up again, they were moving on with their lives. 

On the rare occasion that Conrad got visitation with his mom he wanted to bring Jude along, he decided it was time she finally met this amazing person he always talked about, besides she was much more understanding than Marshall would ever be. 

They were going to have dinner at home while Marshall was away on business, it was perfect. Jude was incredibly nervous but he had no idea it was about to get worse. 

As they ate and talked Jude felt that feeling of dread he had felt when he had seen Nic the night she had died. Soon the talking became background noise, he was jittery and on edge, then he heard it as clear as day. S _top ignoring me_ the voice echoed in his head but it wasn't his voice, it was Nic's and she seemed angry with him. He shut his eyes tightly but she wouldn't leave him be. He stood up. "I hear you okay?! I hear you!" he yelled seemingly at no one which of course earned him concerned looks from Conrad and his mom before he just ran out, grabbing Conrad's baseball bat on the way. Conrad quickly ran after him. 

"Jude what are you doing?" 

"I have to stop this. I have to kill him. I have to set her free" he said as he continued to walk down the street. 

"You're scaring me. What are you talking about?" 

"Don't you get it?! She will never stop until he's dead. I have to kill him" 

"Kill who?" he asked but didn't get an answer as Jude walked up ahead of him. 

Meanwhile Jessie was carrying a large box down the street, she was supposed to be taking some things for a candle lit memorial in honour of Nic's one year anniversary of being gone. It was coming up soon and she wanted to have everything ready. Kyle was supposed to be helping her but he was still in the hospital and Jodie was busy with work so she was alone. She struggled, almost dropping the large box when she felt someone catch it. "Thanks Mr. Harvey" she smiled when she saw him peek his head over the large box. 

"You look like you could use some help. Where are you headed?" he asked, his friendly demeanour made him easily trustworthy. Nic felt the fear rise within her when she saw them. 

"To school, they're doing some sort of memorial thingy for Nic" 

"Been a year already? It's awful really" he helped steady the box in her hands. "You know I'm headed that way anyway how about I give you a ride?" 

_No Jess don't do it please don't do it_ Nic thought to herself, it's not as if Jessie could hear her anyway. 

"That would be great" she said as she let him take the box from her, afterall he wasn't really a stranger he was her neighbour and he had always been nice to her. Nic's anger, fear and panic overwhelmed her she had thought the exact same thing as Jessie before he had killed her. She didn't know what to do, no one could hear her. She just screamed as loud as she could mostly out of frustration but also in the hope that someone, anyone would hear her. 

Jude stopped in his tracks, they were just a few feet away from Harvey and Jessie. He dropped the bat clutching his head, a helpless whimper escaped him as the inhuman sound pierced through his ears. He fell to his knees. "It hurts make it stop" he cried out in pain. Within moments Conrad was by his side asking what was wrong, what was happening, he was terrified. It didn't take Jude long to slip into darkness...


	5. Haunted Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kit and Bell must work to keep Jude alive. Bell is forced to confront memories from his past and face his fears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was too tired to proof read this properly sorry if there's typos and if it makes like no sense 😂

"Jude? Can you hear me?" Conrad tried to stay calm but he could already feel the tears welling up in his eyes as he checked Jude's vital signs like he had learned in first aid. He wasn't breathing he had no pulse so Conrad started CPR calling out for help. 

Jude could hear the muffled yelling but it sounded so far away. He could hear Conrad calling for help, saying he wasn't breathing but it all felt so far away. The feeling of dread overwhelming him and that's when he saw her. Nic was standing in the middle of the road and as he got closer he realised the feeling of dread wasn't his own, it was hers, it had been her fear all along. It had only been a year since her death yet she seemed so much younger than him now. He felt a strange need to comfort her. She didn't see him, all her attention seemed to be elsewhere but he couldn't see what she was looking at, what had her attention, why she looked so terrified. 

Conrad kept going with CPR, tears streaming down his face, it wasn't long before everyone was surrounding him. In all the commotion Bell and Kit came outside to see what was going on they had both taken some time off work after what happened with Kyle, it had made Bell much more aware of what he could lose. He didn't want to spend all his time chasing ghosts he knew he would never catch. He needed to focus on now. When they got outside and got passed the crowd they saw Conrad kneeling beside Jude doing CPR, his entire body shaking. "I can take over" Kit said, rushing to action without hesitation but Bell was frozen, he hadn't practiced medicine since Amelia had went missing, he couldn't even set foot in a hospital after that because he was constantly brought back to that day, the day that ruined his life. If he had been with Amelia instead of in surgery she wouldn't have gone missing, she would still be alive. 

Meanwhile Jude tried to approach Nic but as soon as he got close she disappeared and suddenly he was standing in the middle of a field, it was dusk now even though it had just been daytime a few moments ago. 

He saw her again this time it appeared she was walking home from school? This didn't make sense. Her backpack broke, sending all her homework flying everywhere $20 was the first thing to drift off into the wind. She quickly ran to try and catch everything,almost running into someone. Jude watched from the slight distance, recognising the man almost instantly, George Harvey, he lived in the neighbourbood just across the street from Nic. "Awe damn I'm sorry" he said afte this failed attempt to catch the flying papers. 

"It's okay" she sighed, gathering what she could and dumping it back into her now broken backpack. 

"You don't seem to be having much luck today" he said sympathetically. "Well you won't be able to carry that home with you..I can fix it for you if you want? I was actually out here working on a project I'm building for all the kids in the neighbourhood"

"I'm sorry but I really have to go" she said as she started walking again, hugging the backpack to her chest to keep her belongings from falling out. 

"Oh come on. I've really been wanting to show someone, besides it'll take you longer to walk home like that" 

Jude could feel his heart pounding, this was it this was where Harvey got her. "I can't be late for dinner" she said and for a moment Jude forgot what was happening, he had a glimmer of hope for her, as if things could all be different. 

"I promise you won't be late it'll only take a minute, besides you'll get to be the very first kid to see it, how cool is that?" Hearing those words unsettled Jude because he understood the context. Was Harvey just planning to kill more kids down there if it hadn't been found? 

Of course she was a little tempted, Jude could see her practically fighting with herself over it but ultimately there was a sense of trust she had built with Harvey around the neighbourhood so she followed him. Jude could sense her naivety and was suddenly aware of just how innocent she really was. Harvey stopped at a wooden hatch door in the ground, he opened it up to reveal a ladder. "Ladies first" he said as he held it open for her, she walked down the ladder, disappearing into the earth as he shut the hatch door behind them. 

Jude ran, the sense of urgency suddenly hitting him causing him to finally feel like he could move until he felt someone grab him by the hand, unbeknownst to him it was Amelia. He turned to see the young girl he didn't recognise and although she was a stranger to him he felt like he knew her, her deep blue eyes just felt so familiar and strangely put him at ease but only for a brief moment. "We have to stop him"

"There's nothing you can do for her now" she seemed genuinely saddened just saying that. 

"No-no there's still time I-" 

"Look" she pointed back towards the hatch door, clearly more time had passed as he had suddenly realised how dark it was, how long had he been standing there? He wasn't really sure but as he turned around he saw Harvey coming up the ladder covered in blood. He seemed to be dragging something along with him, he had two plastic bags, one was light, he tossed it up ahead of him but the other had to be pulled with both hands. Jude watched on in horror when it came into view..although the bag wasn't completely transparent it was clear enough for him to see the thick red liquid that was easy identifiable as blood. Clumps of hair and flesh moving in the sea of red, he felt sick. 

"I told you it would have been a bad idea for you to go down there" Amelia spoke up, keeping a tight hold of his hand. Jude was trembling he wanted to speak but he couldn't so Amelia continued. "He didn't just kill her, he kept her down there for hours doing whatever he wanted because this is what he does. He finds someone innocent and naive and he rips it away from them and when he's done he kills them, tossing them aside like they're nothing" the more she spoke of him the angrier she became. 

"There are others?" 

"Of course there are. You don't think a kill that horrific is someone's first time do you?" 

"I-I guess not... why are you showing me all this?" 

"Because it's my job to set her soul free and I think you're the key to that. She doesn't even remember all of what he did... not yet. She's blocked most of that night out. When she ran into you that night she didn't even know she was dead. That fear you felt was hers, she was running for her life. Now you're like an anchor, tethering her to the real world, at least that's the only explanation I can think of as to why she has such a powerful reach" 

He felt chills run down his spine as she explained. He wasn't even sure what to say but before he even really had time to process he could feel himself being pulled away from her. She held onto him tightly almost as if to stop him from being pulled away by whatever unknown force was driving him away. "Jude wait. I need you to do one thing for me. I need you to tell my dad that I'm okay. Tell him that I've found peace okay?" 

He didn't have time respond, he felt himself being ripped away from her and slipping into darkness once more. 

"Does anyone have a knife or anything sharp?!" Kit yelled to the onlookers.

Harvey rushed through the crowd, abandoning the box he had been carrying and the thoughts of all the things he could do with Jessie if he got her alone. He took a large switchblade from his pocket and handed it to her. "Don't worry it's sterile" he said, of course it was, he had to get rid of Nic's blood which had once covered the sharp blade. 

Kit carefully used the knife to release the air embolism that had been compressing his lungs. Harvey got an odd sense of satisfaction watching the blade pierce Jude's skin. Watching it draw blood just brought him back to that night..how blissfully glorious his horrific actions had felt in the moment, he had to do his best to stay in the moment and act concerned, stopping his mind from going back to Nic. 

The blaring sirens of the ambulance approaching got everyone's attention, as soon as the paramedics arrived Conrad insisted on staying with Jude, holding his hand tightly the entire time, Kit was also headed in the ambulance with him, half dragging Bell along with her, she could do with his help but right now he was in no state to help anybody. He just stared and watched Kit work with the paramedics. 

As soon as they reached the hospital doors reality hit him like a punch to the gut, he couldn't go in there, he hadn't been in a hospital in years. "Call his family" Kit called back to him as she rushed inside with Jude and the paramedics. 

Bell just stood outside the doors of the hospital for what seemed like an eternity before texting Cain and asking him to get in touch with Jude's parents before working up the nerve to go inside. 

As soon as he stepped foot inside those doors he felt years of his life flash before his eyes, even if it wasn't the exact same hospital it had an almost identical layout just on a smaller scale. It brought him back to when he and Kit had announced the pregnancy to their friends and colleagues, or the night she went into labour while they were bickering about a patient's diagnosis and eating ice cream in his office. Kit wasn't even supposed to be working but it was a difficult pregnancy towards the end and it was taking a toll on her both physically and emotionally so Bell did whatever he could to keep her spirits up even if it meant going over patient files and eating strange combinations of ice cream with her at 2 in the morning. 

He felt the tears building in his eyes as he slowly made his way through the hospital, unsure of where he was even going. The hardest memories hadn't even hit him yet, the memories of Amelia. She had practically grown up in the hospital, she even took her first steps there. He could remember it as clear as day, the interns he was teaching wanted to see who she liked more so they sat her on the floor in one of the more quiet hallways and stood back to see which one she would crawl to, but instead she stood up, turned away from them and tried to walk back towards Bell before falling over. He realised then in that moment that she was going to be more stubborn and determined than either him or Kit combined and he loved that about her. 

He could feel it getting harder to breathe, he went to the nearest empty room and shut the door, slumping to the floor. He didn't even look to see if there was a bed or a chair to sit on he just shut his eyes and tried to block out the memories but they only got worse and more vivid. 

Like the time Amelia had appendicitis, she had gotten so unwell so fast and they were terrified of losing her, she was only 8 years old, her doctor had misdiagnosed her and they hadn't realised until her appendix ruptured and she was septic. She had to be in the ICU for months, he remembered reading to her every day and at night all the machines would terrify her so he and Kit would sing her to sleep, singing "You Are My Sunshine" 

Even her first (unofficial) father daughter dance happened at the hospital. She was just four years old at the time and had heard one of the parents at the staff daycare talking about the father daughter dance for the charity fundraiser the hospital was doing. When she found out it was for older kids she laid down in the middle of the hospital's main lobby and cried until everyone was staring at Bell so he finally gave in and told her they would have their own. Kit took her shopping to buy a dress and after the event Bell stalled people from clearing out the area. He made a playlist of all Amelia's favourite songs, set the lights up and taught her how to dance. She was so happy, standing on his feet for balance while they spun and danced around, her eyes lit up he had never seen her look so happy before. So when he saw that same look in her eyes again years later when she insisted on wanting to join her school's football team despite it being an all boys team he supported her all the way. Argued her case to the school's board of directors. He even used his reach at the hospital to help raise money for the team. He would do anything for his little girl but all because of one mistake it was all gone. 

Then it hit him, the memory of the last time he set foot in a hospital, it was actually after Amelia died, as soon as Kit was able to piece her life together he didn't have to be strong anymore, he didn't have her problems to distract him from his own and he just fell apart. He turned up to the hospital drunk while Kit was on the night shift, he quit and made quite a scene while doing so which led to a fight between them in the parking lot shortly after. 

They fought about him drinking and of course he insisted that Kit wouldn't understand. "You don't know what it's like. You would never understand" 

"I could never understand what? What it's like to lose a child?! I lost Amelia too Randolph!" Tears were streaming down her face by that point. 

"It's not the same" 

Then she said something in the heat of the moment that she would instantly regret. "Well it was your fault in the first place! If you had just been there! Why couldn't you just be there?!" 

That hurt him and she knew it, she tried to apologise but she didn't get a chance. He pushed her out of the way much harder than he had ever intended and she hit the ground hard. For a brief second there was a look of fear in her eyes and that completely broke him. He had never ever laid a hand on her through all the years they had been together and she had never once looked at him like that. He fell to his knees beside her and gently pulled her close. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" he just broke down and sobbed, they both just held each other and cried it out. 

All these memories haunted him, mocking him almost. He was brought back to reality when he felt a hand gently brush his cheek , it was Kit, she had been kneeling in front of him and trying to help him steady his breathing for awhile now and he hadn't even noticed. He just pulled her close and hugged her before managing to pull himself together. "How's the kid?" he asked after a moment of comfortable silence between them. 

"It's quite strange actually.. I can't figure out what caused the air embolism in his chest. We did a full workup as soon as he was stable. He has a concussion and some damage to his ears.. it just doesn't add up" 

"It almost seems like he was exposed to extreme sound waves" 

"That's what I was thinking but no one else was effected. I tried to get information from the parents but they weren't too helpful in fact they didn't even bother to stick around" 

He just held her close. "Some people just shouldn't be allowed to reproduce" he mumbled angrily, more so to himself. He resented them for still having their child and not loving him the way they should. They were the kind of people who deserved not to have children, not people like him and Kit, not people who would give up anything for their child only to have them be ripped away without warning 

When Jude began waking Conrad was asleep by his bedside and Bell came to see him. He was sure he was still sleeping until he grabbed hold of his hand. "Dad.." he mumbled, Bell just stood there awkwardly unsure if he should respond or if he should just wait until Jude let him go, it was clearly just the drugs talking. "I'm okay now I promise. I'm not scared anymore" he said before letting go and drifting off again. Bell wasn't sure if he should feel unsettled or comforted, for some reason it felt as if Amelia was the one telling him these things, it must have been the exhaustion, he was emotionally exhausted after everything..of course that was definitely it. He left the room to avoid another awkward and strange encounter and headed home with Kit for the night, feeling strangely at peace. 

When Jude awoke properly it was a much less calm experience he sat up quickly, thrashing about, accidentally ripping out IVs, Conrad jumped up from his chair and rushed to his side. "No! No! No! It's too late! It's too late!" he yelled, he seemed out of it. Conrad tried to reassure him but Jude couldn't hear him due to the temporary damage to his hearing so Conrad did the only thing he could think of. He put his arms around him and just held him close. Eventually Jude stopped fighting and just snuggled into him, letting himself drift off to sleep. The physical damage would heal relatively quickly but Conrad had no idea the extent of the emotional damage all of this had caused. Nurses came to redo the IVs but left them alone for the rest of the night since Conrad seemed more than capable of comforting Jude without the need for sedatives. He held him all through the night, he stayed awake for most of it just making sure Jude was still breathing, listening to the monitors for even the slightest sound of trouble but eventually tiredness won and he drifted off to sleep too. 


	6. Person Of Interest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tables are turned when Bell becomes a person of interest. Conrad wants to try to reach out to Nic and some of the kids in the neighbourhood try to clear Bell's name however things don't go according to plan..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be bad and full of typos I wrote it at a weird time in the morning. I might come back and edit it later

After confronting his fear of the hospital, Bell felt free but he still couldn't let go of his past. Not until he could solve this case and find a way to fully let go of not only Amelia but Nic too. He truly did care for her. They came into each others lives in their darkest times and helped each other through, little did he know it was this very bond that could possibly ruin his life. 

He was woken early in morning to a loud knock on the front door. He came down the stairs, leaving Kit's side for the first time since they had gotten home. He saw Cain standing there with a smug yet slightly disturbed look on his face. "Well Randy I finally realise why you were so interested in the case" 

"Don't call me Randy" he rolled his eyes it was too early to be dealing with Cain. "Do you have something new or are you just here to annoy me?" 

"Actually I do" he held up a diary. "Nicolette had quite a few things to say about you Randy and so did her father which makes you a person of interest so I'll be taking the case from here on out and I'll need you to come to the station with me" 

Bell felt his stomach drop, what was in that diary.. he hadn't even done anything wrong and now his whole life could be ruined in an instant if the inner thoughts of a child were misinterpreted. 

He got ready and came down to the station, he had to hand in his badge and gun pending investigation. He was taken to an interrogation room, a place that felt so familiar yet now he was on the other side of it, a suspect and that terrified him even though he did nothing wrong. Cain stepped out for a moment he said he needed to discuss some things with a colleague but Bell knew what he was really doing, he was trying to see how he would react to being left alone with his thoughts on the situation. He wanted to make him panic but he was too smart for that. He put his head down, still exhausted from the early morning and the events of the past few days that he fell asleep, his mind drifting back to Nic. 

He and Kit had been fighting that day, one of Amelia's necklaces had been damaged during the move and they both ended up blaming each other for it. It was one of the few belongings of hers that they hadn't sent away to storage. He left the house and stood out on the porch with a coffee just trying to clear his head. He really didn't want to have another pointless fight with Kit. It was all too much. 

All the while Nic was cycling around the neighbourhood delivering newspapers. She had agreed to fill in for the paperboy since he was sick with bronchitis and she could really do with the extra money. As she was cycling past she threw a newspaper to Bell, it hit his coffee cup knocking it from his hand and smashing all over his porch, some boiling hot coffee splashed onto him. "Shit!" he yelled out from the pain. 

Nic looked over to him quickly trying to stop her bike to see if he was okay. Bell watched the disaster quickly unfold in front of him as her shoelace got caught in the spokes of her bike, snapping her ankle out of place and causing her to fall to the floor. He quickly ran down the driveway toward her. "Are you alright?" he asked as he knelt down beside her. 

"Yeah.. I think I just sprained my ankle'

He looked at her leg, it seemed like her ankle was completely dislocated a very rare injury but he had seen a few throughout his residency. He didn't want to freak her out since she couldn't see the damage from the way she was positioned and clearly the shock of the fall was keeping her calm. He carefully began to detangle her shoelace from the bike. As soon as she was free she tried to stand before he had a chance to stop her. 

She screamed and almost passed out, he wasn't sure if that was from the pain or the shock of seeing how out of place her ankle was but either way he knew he couldn't be much help. Kit would know what to do so he carried her inside and set her down on the couch. Kit had been sitting down holding the necklace. She quickly wiped her tears and set the necklace down on the coffee table. 

"My God what happened?' she asked, putting her personal feelings aside for the moment. 

"Her shoelace got caught in her bike. I think her ankle is dislocated" 

"Alright" she looked at Nic. "I need to put this back into place and it's going to hurt" she always found it was best to be honest. "Do you want something to bite down on?" Usually with this kind of thing she would wait to readjust until after an x-ray but there was no time unless she was willing to risk permanent damage. 

"Just do it" Nic replied, shutting her eyes. 

"Okay on the count of three. One.." and before she even got to two she had grabbed hold of her ankle and clicked it back into place. 

"You said you were going to count to 3!" 

"It hurts less when you don't expect it" she explained. "Now we really should get you to the hosptial" 

She quickly shook her head. "No it's okay I'm fine now" 

"You still need treatment and pain meds" 

"No it's fine really" she didn't have insurance and her dad usually spent all their money on drugs and alcohol she couldn't afford to go even if she wanted to. 

Kit sighed softly. "Alright. Wait here" she gently grabbed Bell by the hand and brought him to the hallway. 

"You need to convince her to go to the hospital. You made this mess now you fix it" 

"Me? How the hell is this my fault? You can't blame me for everything. The kid fell off her bike, it happens" 

"I only blame you when I know it's your fault. I heard you yelling out there. You probably gave the poor girl a heart attack" 

"It's not my fault I got scalded by hot coffee. I couldn't control my reaction" 

"Well I always tell you that you make your coffee too hot anyway so it's still your fault now go talk to her' 

"This isn't really about that at all is it? This is about the necklace? You think I broke it" 

"It's one of the only things we have left of her and you damaged it and now you can't even admit it" 

"I wouldn't lie about something like that" 

Their fight went on for some time and when they had returned Nic was gone. They had been fighting long enough for her to practically get home on one leg. They were about to continue arguing when Kit noticed the necklace was gone. "It's-it's gone" 

"What?" he asked confused. 

"The necklace is gone" she started frantically searching. 

"It has to be here somewhere" 

"No I'm telling you it's gone!" 

He sighed. "She must have taken it" he said more so to himself. 

Kit didn't like jumping to conclusions. "She's just a child Randolph. You shouldn't rush to see the worst in people" 

"Well what other explanation do you have? Have you not heard the rumours about that family" 

"Rumours is all they are. Let's just keep looking. Maybe I knocked it when I was trying to help" 

The next day after hours of searching Bell decided he had enough. Nic was out with Mina, she seemed to be doing better. She had crutches and an ankle brace from when Jessie had sprained her ankle earlier that year and she had stolen some of her dad's pills for the pain it wasn't thr best idea but she knew she couldn't go to the hospital. She had to try to manage this herself and get on with her life as normal. Of course when Bell saw her out with friends seemingly without a care in the world it angered him. He walked right up to her. "I need to have a word with you" he spoke sternly, Mina looked at her, silently asking if she needed backup. 

"It's okay. I'll catch up" she said and Mina walked off leaving the two alone. "I was actually on my way to see you I wanted to-" 

"Where is it?" 

"What?" 

'The necklace that you stole from my house. Where is it?" 

"I didn't steal it I-" 

'I don't care what excuses you might have. That necklace is very important to my wife and I and if you don't return it I'll make sure it goes on your record" 

"Okay, okay" she took the necklace from her pocket. "Just let me explain I-" 

He just sighed and shook his head. "I should have known. Cain was right about you from the start" he mumbled more so to himself, he had often defended her whenever Cain complained about the family's many run ins with the cops but his view had changed. 

His words seemed to hurt her more than he had realised they would, because what he didn't know was she actually looked up to him. He was always patient with her whenever there was problems with her family, he seemed like the type who genuinely cared but they never met under good circumstances and it seemed now he had his mind made up about her. 

As she walked away she took something else from her pocket, crumpled it up and tossed it away. His curiosity got the best of him so he picked it up. It was a letter addressed to him and Kit. 

_Hey Mr. & Mrs. B _

_Thanks for helping me yesterday. I'm sorry if I worried you by taking the necklace but I hope you know I had every intention of returning it. I heard you arguing in the hallway (you really need to work on your whisper yelling by the way). I don't know who the "her" was that you kept mentioning but I know she must be important to you. You fixed my ankle so it's only fair I did something for you in return. I know it's not perfect but I fixed it for you. I hope you're not mad. I have a charm bracelet from my mom and it means the world to me I know I would be devastated if anything happened to it so I thought I'd help. Please don't be upset. I'm sorry if you don't like it but I really hope you do_

_\- Nic :)_

Bell felt a warmth in his heart that he hadn't felt in awhile and an ache in his chest, guilt. Her childish innocence was still intact despite her terrible home life yet she had a sort of maturity too. Something about her reminded him of Amelia, he looked down at the necklace, the clasp had been fixed and it seemed as if it had never been broken. He knew Kit would be relieved to have it back and he also knew he needed a way to make it up to Nic. He didn't know that opportunity would arise the very next day when she got herself in trouble for shoplifting. 

When he saw what she had taken he quickly realised she wasn't getting in trouble for the sake of it, she was getting in trouble in order to survive so he paid for what she had taken and drove her home with a newfound understanding of her home life. He decided that he wasn't going to let her throw her life away. He couldn't watch another life wasted. Amelia was murdered young, she didn't have a chance to grow up and make something of herself but Nic did as long as she kept herself out of trouble. This was his new distraction he was going to save her from herself. 

Bell was brought back to reality when he heard Cain slam a case file down on the table in front of him. He looked up at him, he knew he was in for a long day. "Let's just get to the point" he said as he sat up properly. "I didn't do this" 

All the while Jude and Conrad had woken up when there was a light knock on the door. Conrad quickly moved to the chair before anyone could see them laying together, it was more out of guilt than anything. Even though he and Nic hadn't been together officially it still felt like cheating at times. Mina, AJ, Irving and Jessica came in with Devon not far behind. 

"How are you feeling?" Devon asked, earning him an eye roll from Mina, he was younger than them and always wanted to tag along. He was like the little brother they never wanted but had to put up with. 

"I'm alright" Jude mumbled sleepily. 

"What happened?" Jessica chimed in curiously. 

"I-I don't know" 

"You're a terrible liar" Mina said, leaning against the wall, AJ couldn't help but glance over to her he loved how she just got right to her point. 

"Well you wouldn't believe me if I told you" Jude explained. 

"Try me" 

"Well I don't know exactly how it happened but I know why it happened. It was because of Nic" 

Mina rolled her eyes again. "So.. you think she's a ghost or something?" Irving asked, he seemed a bit nervous at the thought, Jessica smiled and gently squeezed his hand to assure him it would be alright, although to the others it just seemed as though he was being sarcastic. 

"It's not a joke. It was real" 

"You were probably hallucinating" AJ suggested. 

He shook his head. "It wasn't like that" 

"He's telling the truth" Conrad tried to defend him. 

"There's no way" Devon mumbled. 

"Don't tell me you're claiming you saw her too?' Mina asked 

"No and I didn't believe him at first but you didn't see what happened out there..and even the doctors couldn't explain it" 

"So who did it. Who killed her?" 

Jude suddenly went pale and they all knew he knew something but he wouldn't speak up. He knew he had seen the killer but he just couldn't place the memories in his mind. 

Conrad mentioned wanting to try to reach out to her so of course AJ recommended a ouija board even though he insisted he didn't believe in those kinds of things. 

"See. Just as I suspected" he said when it inevitably didn't work. Jude sat there quietly before finally speaking up. 

"It was Mr. Harvey' he said, almost as if a wave of realisation hit him. 

Meanwhile Bell was still being questioned and getting extremely impatient. "Why not just take my DNA and rule me out. I know we got samples"

"Unfortunately they were contaminated by the large volume of blood but I'm sure you knew that"

"What makes you so sure? You're really going to take the word of Kyle Nevin over me?"

"No. I'm going to take the word of his daughter' he took a page that was photocopied from her diary and put it on the table. "Check the highlighted section"

He began to read it. It was only one sentence. _Mr. B is so kind to me. He's basically like my best friend._ He looked up from the page. "What does this prove? That I gave her the time of day when no one else in this town would give a damn?!"

He took out another page with another highlighted section. "Now read this" 

He sighed frustrated and snatched the paper from him. _I think I'm in love with my best friend but if I tell him it will be weird. He acts like he might feel the same way sometimes but he's older and my dad always says older guys only want sex. I haven't even had my first kiss yet. I'm not ready for that._

Bell could feel the tears welling up in his eyes but he quickly blinked them away. "She wasn't talking about me" 

'This was written a day before she went missing" he leaned forward looking him right in the eye. "So tell me Randy. Is that why you killed her? You wanted to get more physical and she said no?"

"No of course not!"

"Oh come on don't deny it. You saw a vulnerable young girl from a troubled family, an easy target" 

"She wasn't even talking about me! She was talking about a boy from school!" he got up angrily, the chair falling behind him as he began pacing. 

"So you're a mind reader now?" 

"No because she told me for God's sake! She confided in me because her own father was an abusive addict who didn't give her the time of day! All I wanted to do was help her. I just wanted her to know she had someone. That she wasn't alone! She had a crush on an older boy he was only a grade above her so I didn't see the harm in giving her some advice. There's nothing wrong with that" 

He remembered that day so vividly they were sat on his porch and he could tell there was something on her mind as she nervously fiddled with her charm bracelet, a habit he had quickly picked up on. "What's on your mind kid?" he asked, putting aside his newspaper to give her his full attention. 

"How do you know when you're in love?" she asked shyly, clearly not planning on bringing it up out of pure embarrassment. 

He chuckled. "Is there a special someone in your life?" 

"Kinda" 

"Well I'm going to need more than that if I'm going to be able to help you" 

"Well he's my best friend and everyone already thinks we're dating but I haven't been able to ask him out" 

"Well what's stopping you?" 

"I..I'm scared. What if he says no..or..or what if he says yes and.."

"And?" 

"Well he's older. He's more.. experienced" 

"Wow. Slow down there. He's only a year older than you I hardly doubt he's Casanova. If you don't talk to him you might regret it" 

"I don't even know what I'd say"

"Just be honest with him - well not too honest. I wouldn't go telling him you love him before you've even went on a single date. The worst that can happen is he says no, then it's on you to be mature enough to accept his feelings" 

"Why don't you have kids? You would have been a great dad" she said as she rested her head on his shoulder. That hurt him a little even though he knew she didn't know any better. 

"Speaking of which your dad is probably wondering where you are. You should be getting home" he knew Kyle wouldn't be looking for her but he didn't want to have to bring up Amelia. Not yet. 

His thoughts were interrupted before Cain had a chance to say anything else by a knock on the door, Kit had demanded that Bell be let go unless he was being formally charged. The chief of police had no choice but to agree to let him go. "I'm here for my husband" she said as she opened the door. 

"I'm in the middle of an interrogation" Cain protested. 

"Not anymore unless you plan on arresting him" 

Bell got up and headed to the door. As Cain followed Kit stopped him. "How could you think that he would do something like this. You know what happened to our daughter. How could you think he could put another family through that pain?" she was clearly hurting at the thought that anyone would accuse him of such a horrible thing. 

"Kyle told us about how he hurt you and that Randolph blackmailed him by not reporting it. He didn't want him to come to us with this lead and from the looks of that cut on your neck I can safely say he was telling the truth and well honestly all that your daughter's case proves is that your husband has a type" for that Kit slapped him as hard as she could across the face before turning around and walking out quickly to catch up to Bell. As they were leaving they saw Kyle. 

"You're letting that sicko leave?!" he yelled angrily. 

"There's nothing I can do until we have more evidence" Cain tried to explain. 

Kyle turned his attention to Bell who was just trying to get out of there as soon as he could. "I know what you did you sick son of a bitch! Soon everyone in this town is going to know you're a depraved pedophile and a murderer" 

Bell turned around angrily. "I never touched her" he tried to keep his cool. 

"Coward. You can't even admit it" 

That was it, he had heard enough. He ran towards him ready to attack him until Cain got between them. He tried to get past him, swinging at Kyle. "I never fucking touched her! I loved that kid like she was my own! I cared about her more than you did you lousy piece of shit! You don't even deserve kids!" he yelled, some tears steaming down his face. 

Kit gently grabbed his hand. "Come on let's go he's not worth it" she said, having to half drag him from the police station. As they got in the car and Kit started driving Bell's mind went back to Nic. He saw how Kyle could go from 0-100 in a matter of seconds and he wondered how terrifying that must have been to live with. 

He could still vividly remember one night when Nic showed up at his house past midnight with Jessie. 

He remembered coming downstairs half asleep and opening the door to see the two frightened young girls out in the cold. Jessie was crying hysterically and they both seemed to have a few nasty cuts. "What happened?" he asked concerned. 

"I tried to make Jessie something to eat. Kyle was asleep on the couch and I woke him by accident" Nic explained. She always referred to him as Kyle whenever he had done something to annoy or upset her, in fact she hardly ever called him dad now that he thought about it. 

"What did he do?" he asked as he brought them inside out of the cold. 

"He started throwing empty beer bottles at me. He accidentally hit Jess too" 

"B-but he said sorry" Jessie added, Bell had come to understand that Kyle and Jessie had a much better relationship. They were closer and he never seemed to lash out at her. The only time she got hurt would be if she was in the crossfire. Although he had never seen any signs of physical abuse from Kyle, he was sure he probably hurt them more than just emotionally even if it was only occasionally. That night was one of those nights. 

Kit came down the stairs and Bell quickly filled her in on the situation so Nic wouldn't have to explain it again. He went to get the first aid kit while she made them hot chocolate. They all sat at the kitchen table and talked for awhile. They played some games to distract Jessie and keep her calm and it did turn out to be a fun night in the end. Nic and Jessie fell asleep on the couch, cuddling each other. Nic held onto her protectively as she slept, almost as if she was afraid to let go. Bell thought about reporting the whole thing to child services but they had already investigated Kyle so many times and never took action. 

As Kit reached the house Bell snapped back to reality. He headed inside and just went straight to their room. He just felt he needed to be alone as the memories of Nic echoed in his head. 

Another person struggling with the memories of Nic was Conrad, he seemed so disappointed when the Ouija board idea didn't work out. He left the hospital to clear his head. He went and sat on one of the benches in the park that he considered his and Nic's spot as they often went there to do homework. Part of him resented Jude for being able to see her. Why him? Why did she choose him? He didn't understand that she didn't really have a choice. 

He shut eyes for a moment before finally deciding it was worth a try. "Hey Nic uh..I don't know if you can hear me or if you're even listening..but I really needed to apologise for getting so close to Jude.. he's just really been there for me since everything.. I know it's crazy but I do still care you" 

She tried to reach out to him she could hear him clearly but he felt so far away. "I can hear you" she said but he didn't hear anything, he didn't even feel her presence. 

He sighed frustrated and got up to leave. She kept running. "Conrad! Wait! Please! I'm here! I'm still here! Don't leave me alone!" as she was running it almost felt as it she was sinking, being pulled under the water, drowning even.

Meanwhile AJ and Mina were discussing breaking into Harvey's house to look for evidence. Irving and Jessica made an uncomfortable get away and dragged Devon along with them, he couldn't be involved. He was much too young and this was much too stupid. If Mina and AJ wanted to risk it that was on them. However they didn't plan on going straight there, they planned on being prepared. Jessie on the other hand, who bad been listening in to their conversation decided to take matters into her own hands. She snuck in through an open back window and began to look around. 

His house was unsettlingly clean and organised, but aside from that there was no evidence to suggest he was the kind of person capable of murder. Even his bedroom appeared totally normal. She turned to leave almost tripping on a slightly raised floorboard. She pulled it up carefully and inside was a little journal of some kind. She flipped through the pages and stopped when she saw a drawing of Nic, next to it, sellotaped onto the page was a clump of her hair. Jessie could feel her hands shaking she slammed the journal shut and stood up getting ready to leave. That was at least until she heard a sound that made her blood run cold, a key turning in a lock, then the sound of footsteps headed towards the stairs. She was terrified, this was it. She was an easy target in here, his next victim...


	7. Letting Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As chaos ensues for Jessie, Jude can't cope with his connection to Nic which drives a wedge between him and Conrad. When she sees the chaos she has created Nic decides she has to let them go, even if that means being stuck in the inbetween forever. Meanwhile Amelia decides to try and take matters into her own hands to end this..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I was too lazy to edit this please don't hate me :)

Irving and Jessica headed to the hospital to tell Conrad and Jude what Mina and AJ had planned. They knew they were confident and fearless enough to actually try to break into Harvey's house and if what Jude was saying was true then it wouldn't end well. 

Conrad was helping Jude get ready to leave, he would be allowed go home as long as he stayed on strict bed rest and returned to the hospital regularly for physiotherapy, of course Conrad agreed to help with his recovery since he knew Jude's parents wouldn't bother.

They were headed to the door when Jessica and Irving got there. "AJ and Mina are gonna try and break into Mr. Harvey's house" Jessica said in a panic before Irving even had a chance to form the words. 

"We have to go stop them" Conrad spoke up, instantly on high alert. Jude however seemed out of it. "Jude?" Conrad turned his attention to him. It all just sounded like echoes in Jude's mind. 

"Jessie..I have to help Jessie.." He randomly spoke up before he just started running, the panic overtaking him the adrenaline was so overwhelming he didn't even feel the pain of his injuries. Conrad quickly ran after him while Irving and Jessica watched on in confusion. Nic's worries had taken over Jude's thoughts and they were well warranted...

Jessie started to back up as Harvey approached her, still clutching the journal tightly in her hands. "Come any closer and I-I'll scream" 

'Is that supposed to be a threat? You broke into my home. That's illegal no matter how old you are. Crying and screaming won't get you out of that." As he spoke he seemed dangerously calm. 

"Murder is illegal too! You-you killed my sister!" Her voice came out shaky and wavering. 

"She tried to get away." He said calmly as if he had been prepared for this conversation, as if this was casual. 

"Why?! What did she do to make you decide she deserved to die?! Why couldn't you just leave her alone?!" Tears filled her eyes and she could feel her body shaking. 

"It wasn't about the murder. Although that part was....perfect.." He seemed to enjoy talking about it. 

"W-well then what did you do to her?" 

"I can show you." He said as he approached her and she suddenly knew this was it, this would be the moment she died if she didn't get out. She opened the window and threw the journal out first, she had to get justice for Nic, that was her priority even if she got herself hurt. She started to climb out the window when she felt him grab hold of her. She screamed and she had the advantage of being around people, Nic had been alone, no one was around to hear her screams. Harvey let her go in a panic and she tumbled forward, falling out the window. 

Mina and AJ were walking by the house, their plan was just to go by the house and see when would be a good time to break in, where was the best access point. That's when they heard the scream and a loud cracking sound, then eerily silent. They saw Jessie lying in the grass which was quickly turning from a luscious green to deep dark red, her body looked so twisted and broken. 

Harvey ran outside and of course acted concerned but he only had one thing on his mind really. He grabbed the journal and brought it back inside the house before calling 911. AJ and Mina ran to her, as Harvey approached her again AJ stopped him. "Back off. You've done enough" he warned and Harvey actually did step away from them. 

Conrad and Jude got there just as the ambulance showed up. Seeing Jessie like that was too much for Jude. He had seen enough. "I hate her" he mumbled, more so to himself, clutching onto Conrad as the pain began to take hold of him again. 

"I think maybe you should go back to the hospital. You were hardly supposed to walk let alone run" Conrad said as he steadied him. 

He rolled his eyes. "That was her fault." He mumbled more so to himself about the situation. 

"What?" 

"What's the point of Nic trying to tell me things if she's always wrong or too late to do anything about it?" He turned to walk off, Conrad tried to stop him but Jude gently pushed him away, he was angry but Conrad was angry too. Jude had a gift and he was wasting it. Why did Nic have to choose him? It didn't seem fair. 

Conrad didn't walk home with Jude as he had promised. Instead he went to the school and stood in front of the memorial that was made for Nic. There were pictures, flowers, candles. It was beautiful, it should have been peaceful but all Conrad could feel was hate. "Why?! Why him?! Why Jude?! He doesn't listen. I-I would listen. I could have helped you but you-you chose him!" He was angry and confused but it was just the grief. He took one of the candles watching as the flame danced lightly in the wind. "You're probably not even listening to me are you?" He mumbled, his eyes glued to the candle. 

"I'm listening, I'm here." She said, she tried to reach out to him but he felt so far away, so cold. 

He dropped the candle, letting it all burn. He just watched as it all began to burn. He blinked away the tears angrily and began walking home. Nic followed him. "Conrad wait please. Just wait." She was desperate for him to hear her but he just kept walking. He went home and sat down on his front porch, he just needed to clear his head but his mind kept drifting back to Nic. He didn't want to break down, to be weak and vulnerable but he couldn't stop the tears that streamed down his face. 

She watched him, wanting nothing more than to hold him, to tell him it would be okay but she couldn't, her reach had never been that strong not even with Jude. "Please come back to me" he whispered and for a moment it seemed like he was looking right at her but she knew he wasn't. 

"I'm sorry but you know I can't do that" she knelt down to be eye level with him. "But that's okay because I get to go knowing I was loved and not just by anyone but by you. You saw me when no one else did and that was long before Jude ever did. I was alone and you saw me. Really saw me for who I was and I'll never be able to repay you for that" she gently wiped his tears, he felt the light breeze brush against his face but nothing more. She knew he didn't hear any of that but she needed the closure for herself. She stood up. "Goodbye Conrad." She said softly before disappearing into the night once again. There was just one more thing to take care of, she had to say goodbye to her family. 

First she went to Jessie, who was still in bad shape. The doctors had put her into a medically induced coma to try and help her recover from her injuries. It was tough for her to see but she took comfort in knowing it wasn't her time, not yet. She looked down at the young girl, she looked so broken, her body was bruised and she seemed so lifeless, so still. For a moment Nic was brought back to a time that she had mostly blocked out of her mind, standing over her own body in that dark room, covered in blood. After that things got blurry and distorted, more details she couldn't quite recall but it was probably for the best. She focused her attention back to Jessie. "I'm sorry Jess" she mumbled, she kissed her forehead gently. "Stay strong." She whispered to her before leaving the room. Jodie was there with Jessie but she wasn't who Nic needed to see, it was Kyle. 

He had gotten home to get some things to bring to the hospital with him but being at home without either of his children was even more unbearable. He walked to the fireplace picking up one of the family photographs, Nic watched as he held it tightly in his shaking hands. It was a picture of him, the girls and their mom. It was one of the only family pictures he didn't shove into a storage box. He threw it onto the floor before grabbing another. He was completely losing it. He began smashing every picture frame he could get his hands on, pulling them from the walls, the side tables, everywhere. Nic had tried to stop him, to call out for him but he didn't hear her, everything was falling apart and she knew it was her fault. Kyle sat on the floor surrounded by broken glass and just sobbed, picking up one of the pictures and clutching it tightly. He had already lost one daughter, he couldn't lose another. Nic knew would need Jude one more time.. just to finally let go because Kyle deserved to know the truth too. He deserved closure. 

"What are you doing?" Amelia asked, Nic was fading away from the real world, she was letting go but Amelia knew she wouldn't go to heaven if she did this. 

"I'm letting them go. It's not fair, I'm just hurting people"

"Sometimes people need to get hurt for you to do the right thing" 

Nic shook her head. "I'm done now. It's over" 

"You know you won't go to heaven right? You'll be stuck in the inbetween forever." Amelia tried to get through to her, he needed her to understand the consequences of this. 

"I don't care. It's not worth hurting the people I care about." She was adamant about letting go, as soon as she got the message to Kyle she was going to let them all go, she was going to end this. Amelia wasn't happy, this meant that Harvey would get away with it, that Nic wouldn't be his last victim as she should have been. Amelia knew she had to take matters into her own hands. She had to get to Bell somehow. 

Bell was surrounded by case files, he couldn't let this go. Nic's killer was out there and they still didn't even have a body, her family didn't have closure and Bell needed closure for himself too. He looked up from the case files when he noticed something flickering. The candle on the windowsill seemed to be releasing a pulsating light. He got up to blow it out, assuming it was burning down too far but as he got to the window he noticed something, a figure. It was a blur but suddenly it began to get more clear. He could see Amelia standing there, her hand to the glass. He put his hand to the glass, it was the closest he had felt to her since she had died. 

He was brought back to reality when he heard something fall behind him. He quickly turned, Nic's casefile was on the floor and Harvey's picture had fallen from it. He had never even really been a person of interest but Bell took this as a sign, he just didn't understand why Amelia had been the one who gave him this sign.. was there a connection? Was he losing his mind from lack of sleep? He wasn't sure but right now he didn't really care he just needed to solve this case. 

Nic was already fading away, losing her hold on the real world and Amelia knew she would have to stop this. Nic wasn't thinking about the bigger picture she was just thinking about saying goodbye to her dad before it was too late...


End file.
